Sterling's Silver

I met Sterling about 2 1/2 years ago when I became the first
African-American male to teach at his high school. He was in my
poetry class and was always eager to display for me his new rhymes that
he had written and viewed himself more of a rapper than poet. Everyday
he would come to me (before and after class) and share with me his work
and general guy stuff in which he wanted my advice. Having a strong
physical presence (being 6'2" tall and hair running the length of my
back) and an all too confident spirit that all things are possible and
of course being the only African-American male adult at the school made
me quite a popular novelty (school is more than 95% African American
and Latino). This was especially true for my male students. Perhaps
it is because we are in a society plagued by children being reared by a
single parent, usually the mother, the male students generally will
gravitate to me and often latch on to my every move and word as though
I were the father they longed for and needed. I both enjoyed and am
flattered to have had this opportunity and responsibility.

But I couldn't figure out Sterling. He would often tell me
stories about his home life that in many ways differed from his peers
at school. He and his siblings were fortunate to have two parents in
the house and both with advanced education. He adored his father and
would tell me stories that seemed wild about his profession and life.
His parents were Princeton grads and a host of other wonderful
accomplishments he revealed to me about them. But the way he attached
himself to me and seemed to look up to me, made me wonder internally if
in fact all of what he told me of his parents were true. Perhaps some
of the adventures and general attitudes they carried with them were a
bit exaggerated. My experiences (or ignorance) led me to believe that
these students needed a father-figure, so why would someone with one
treat me in the same way as someone without one. It was just hard for
me to understand Sterling.

That was until I reached Accra, Ghana and met a man named Dexter.
Ghana was my 8th African country I had visited on this adventure and up
until that point I had met 12 Germans, 9 Dutch, 7 French, 2 Mexicans, 2
Swiss, 1 Portuguese, 1 Englishmen, and 1 guy from Japan, but Dexter was
the first African-American. I called him while I was in Togo and
informed him that I would be in Ghana (the neighboring country to the
west) the next day. He was in Ghana only another day and a half,
heading off to a business meeting in Sierra Leone and agreed to hook up
with me when I arrived in Ghana. I was excited because I had only
spoken to Dexter one other time months prior in New York when he called
me because he heard about my Mt. Kilimanjaro experience and he was
interested in climbing it. And now we meet face to face for the first
time half a world away.

Four hours after leaving Lome, Togo, I arrive at Dexter's Hotel
and when he approached, I instantly knew who he was. It was like I had
already met this man before. In a way, I actually had. Dexter is the
father of Sterling. "Hey, D. Slack!" he says with a big, inviting
smile, firm handshake, and voice resembling the one he lent to his
son. I outlined this update even before I experienced it, thinking
that the main theme of it would be about Black Americans and our lack
of enthusiasm for international travel, evident for the fact had hadn't
met any along this path. I was reserving it for when I met the first
African-American. So swirling in my mind on my way to Accra were ways
to complete this message. But that was of course until I met Dexter.

This man is certainly alive. With a thirst for life and seemed to
completely enjoy the vast experiences he was afforded. After helping
me secure a room at the hotel (helping by paying for it), we get a
beverage and he says, "Man, I have a lot for you to do today!" and he
begins to tell me of all things that could happen this day. After
eliminating the smell of the road trip off of me, we go to the arts
market to look for a few things, then to the monthly meeting of the
AAAG (African American Association of Ghana). He was invited by a lady
who ran several NGOs in Ghana and thought that me linking up with her
would be fruitful to my mission in Africa. And this encounter has
proven the most fruitful thus far! There were 20 Black Americans at
this meeting. In just a matter of hours I met the largest number of a
particular nationality.

I met so many progressive people interested in helping Africa and
those across the African Diaspora at this meeting and in some way each
has influenced me, causing me to alter the course of my journey
slightly. I have always dreamed of being part of a school in Africa
(founding one or helping administer one) and I met a young lady from
Atlanta who has just opened one in Accra. This journey I wanted to
help African people, socially, economically, spiritually and I met
several people that have provided me with opportunities to utilize my
energy and talents to do just that. And through Dr. Sandra Ross, the
lady introduced to me through Dexter, I even got a teaching job (funded
by Gate Foundation).

After the meeting, Dex took me on a mini tour of some of the
Attractions in Accra. And some of what I saw truly surprised me. The
infrastructure of Ghana has vastly improved in the three years since I
have been here. This may be because the world right now is looking in
at Ghana, waiting for it to take the lead on changing the face of
Africa. This year (2007) marks the 50th year anniversary of Ghana
Independence, the first African country to win independence from European
colonial rule. Pioneering freedom, innovation and stability, Ghana has
the opportunity to become the beacon of hope for other developing
nations in Africa. Comparatively speaking, it is clearly decades
beyond the other 7 African nations I have been to thus far on this
journey. But like everything else, it has years to catch up to truly
compete global as a solid and truly independent nation.

Dex and I had many such conversations about life, politics,
America, Africa, business, public school education and we truly became
fast friends laughing, joking and hanging out. By the time I actually
closed my eyes to sleep 24 hours was in between then and when I woke up
that morning in Togo. It was certainly my longest day thus far in
Africa and honestly one of my very best. Dex had trouble with his
ticket and had to cancel Sierra Leone, so he had an extra day and a
half before he had to fly out to Kenya (conincedentally, my exact next
destination). We hung out some more and I not only gained a friend,
but more understanding of why Sterling was the way he is. Unlike most
of the male students I have encountered, Sterling was not searching for
a replacement for his father, rather he saw so much of his father in
me. We liked so much of the same things it was kind of scary. We
wrote with the same blue Bic pen with the comfort grips (the only pen I
write my journal entries with and the only one Dex uses), we ordered
the same things on the menu and even (here's the scary part) had the
exact same Samsung t809 mobile phone.

When learning these things about each other, he said what I was
thinking: "Man, it's no wonder my son loves you so much....I see why he
talks about you all the time." I smiled. Warm fuzziness invaded my
heart, thinking, "I see why he talks about you all the time too!". It hasn't been
often that I have heard that I have made some
sort of positive impact on someone, yes, I have seen the positive
difference that I potentially have made in a child's life, but hearing
it can never get old. It made me think about some of the conversations
I have had with Sterling. He always seems to have a answer to
everything and is always optimistic about his future and abilities,
just like Dex his father. Meeting Dex made me appreciate the work that
I am able to do in a young person's life, and also of the more important
role parents play.

Dexter Wadsworth seems to both enjoy and except his role as good
man, great father and now to me, a wonderful friend. His golden smile,
diamond outlook, platinum personality has passed on to his Sterling as
one beautiful silver lining in darkened skies. Dex, I can't until I
see you again, 25 years younger, discussing poetry, rap and general guy
stuff......